the past week’s been too sluggish for me. i spent a week of vacation away from home and left a lot of petty arguments behind. petty arguments and issues that eventually turned out as a serious conflict between friends and family.
ther’s always a point in time when you’ll just let it all out, ecpress what you’ve been trying so hard to repress for a while. finally speaking up and letting others know your point feels amazing for the burden’s been let go.
nothing’s sweeter than waking up in the morning knowing that all the misunderstandings are finally cleared up right before you call it a day. being assertive and outspoken is a skill that i think everyone should practice once in a while. women are perceived as submissive all throughout history but then again all humans are just and should be equal. any sort of degradation and violation of rights is not something i can tolerate and im proud that im able to stand for the people i love and care for.
this is partly what life is about, learning how to fight; you cant be a coward all your life. if you think all the unbelievably awful, horrible and unlawful things only happen in the movies, you’re so wrong.
good morning, earthlings! :* follow me on Twitter! haha @cortesbernice ;)
dont you hate it when you wake up in the morning, check your phone for the time and see messages from an aversive person in a sense that all he does is to judge and assume as if he’s a significant part of your fucking life?
what i hate is a guy who acts like a stupid jealous boyfriend when in fact he ‘s already committed and all that. what is your girlfriend to you dude, a display? im concerned more about the girl because she’s with a guy like that. i dont know if i should tell her that her boyfriend’s a jerk and is playing around all the time they’ve been together.
he said he’d wait but i said waiting wont help so he might as well just quit trying and just move on. but now i see this story, his story, his game and i feel a bit guilty. he’s been quite frank on how he feels towards me and man, i’ve seen it.
and yes, he’s not the guy who i was with yesterday. he’s someone else. you see, a lot of things happen when you’ve been single for too long. there are just people and situations you cant avoid.
waiting for the right time and the right person is not about how long you can wait but how and what you are while waiting. waiting on for someone on this guys’s case with the involvement of another isnt fair. it would be nice to have someone who you know is always there for you but wouldnt it be nicer if you reciprocate all what’s given to you? this modern world is a huge pit of selfishness and greed but then again dont you think you can stand up for a change?
all women are worthy to be loved. regardless of what or how they are, they deserve to be respected. i dont understand why men can be such fucking users and be so rude sometimes. sigh
i hope he’ll get to realize all the shit he does and finally be true enough to face all that’s lined up for him. he’s a good person, he really is. but sometimes when things get too vaguely intimidating people choose to breakdown.
it’s been slightly explicit in my previous blogs that after my last romantic relationship, i happened to have trust issues and all and that i started to just redirect all of what i have into something and anything that has little or no connection to any lovey dovey shit whatsoever. lol
as i burned bridges and built walls, i realized how rude i’ve become. i sticked consistently with NOs and frank rejections. and with that i consider this day to be a bit way off from that.
jc, a very good friend of mine whose intentions were pretty clear had been dying for a yes to come visit me at home to meet mum and dad and blahh. so today, i said “fiiiine. a day wouldnt hurt.”
…so he spent most of the time talking to my relatives (my cousins and aunts and uncles were at home a while ago for a visit) as if he visited them instead of me.lol i allowed him to come over since he’s just nearby, he attended a wedding shit. so yes, it’s for the sake of me trying to be nicer and more polite to the male species of the human population.
he ended up staying with us longer cause he insisted to drive me all the way here in Pangasinan since i was on schedule for a vaca here. he joined us for dinner. there was a planned movie date with the fam but i told him not to join since it was getting late considering that he had to get home in Tarlac.
all in all this day turned out strangely familiar. like the familiarity’s almost from a vanishing remnant of once a typical, usual memory.
til now i cant believe i just let my family spend time with a guy friend that was not really a ‘barkada’, if you know what i mean. more like a suitor if the term would make things clearer. for two years i was dating once in a while (yes not just jc) but there was no formal meet-the-parents stuff since i wasnt going out with anyone in particular in a consistent manner so there’s really no need for that. im not sure tho if there’ll be a next time for this kind of whatever this is. i like him plainly as a friend, i mean you’ll know if there could be more than that right? besides, i kind of like someone else and this time i think id take all the risks, but that’s another story!
as i sense where all this could lead (god damn it still no sign of love and commitment at the moment! lmao), after all the time (almost half a year now) that he tried to make something more out of the friendship, im glad i gave him a shot on chance—to finally bond with my family since that’s the least thing i could do—and that i tried to rev things up on my part.
it’s hilarious that mum said “you’re finally opening up….. or not.” lol that’s how quick things happen. one moment you’re up to the unusual and the next time you’re all laid back again. or can it be just because im saving all the courage that i have to the person that im really interested in now? hmm. may be. may be not.
it’s been weeks since graduation and im totally blown (still) by that fact so im definitely wishy-washy on what i really wanna do for, say, a job whatsoever. summer’s almost over and im still not quite sure if il be able to have a step up on the current situation.
there have been offers but like i said i dont know what exactly i wanna focus my energy on yet. i can go for teaching, the HR dept, research assistant blah blah and private tutoring but urgh choosing is so hard! i would also love to get masterals… if could just do all of those at once then i will. but things dont work that way and time’s just too tricky.
oh well i could get to that. i know i will.
new necklace and ring! ❤ perfect to rev up too-plain-tops with a classy vintage-ish vibe! :) i like pieces that highlight femininity with a dose of rugged implication of independence.
here were some of the things we got.. mom spent more on herself i swear! hahaha
so my mom and i went shopping today, how awesome was that? :)) haha we bought ourselves new clothes and ate a lot. lols god knows how many hours were spent on scrutinizing and fitting clothes then deciding if they’re worth every peso. and yes, we’re exhausted!
there were these two girls however that made this day strangely amusing because wherever we went, they’re there, too! hahaha imagine riding on the same bus with them otw to the city, on the same jeepney around the city and walking around in the same malls and stores with them.. and hell they’re still around til you got in the bus otw home.. as in literally! mom and i cant help but laugh ‘cause they were so talkative and every time we hear such noise we’re like “oh my god not again!” lol so weird and super funny. 😂
burn baby, burn.
one thing i learned from the film Waiting For Forever was one must identify a good letter from a bad one. it’s true indeed that the bad ones beg for love and the good ones ask for nothing..
it’s liberating to finally break from a pit of horrible beliefs that i dont know, make us the most miserable persons that could ever define love in its most terrible sense.
it’s liberating to wake up one day with the courage to finally acknowledge what you did wrong…and what made you hold back and leave in the first place.
sometimes what’s inside our heads are totally different from what the heart dictates. deception of one or both wont gonna make things better. it’ll just make things crazier than they seem. and most of the time, you have to go back to ashes in the hope to start anew.
songs, long hand written letters, poems, hand-made crafts.. these are what most girls miss in this age of modernity. i hate how romance’s being so fcked up right now. the way dominant cultures penetrate the mainstream and the way media and society feed from that bullshit is just depressing. well yes all the way people live now is an evolutionary process but there are just things that may seem old, convenional and traditional that are actually better than what is imposed and done today.
this is the kind of sentiment that i get whenever i meet guys who seem to be okay and worse, very comfortable and used with techy exchanges of thoughts and emotions and mere virtual involvement. like “WTF?! do more and try harder you dweeb. you wont earn anything from all that shit you do” hahaha just saying.
